Have you ever thought about bubble gum? Or chewing gum? It is crap.

Ok, think. It is really bad and even lethal to us. You have to pay a buck fifty for something that will either rip out a filling, a loose tooth, or worse, get stuck in your airway and become lethal. For a piece of sugary rubber that just makes you more hungry than you are, and you just have to spit out when it gets too small or literally tasting like a piece of rubber.

For a buck and fifty cents I expect a whopper, or a king-size candy bar, or a big-ass bag a chips or something. Not something I have to spit right back out when I get done with it. The flavor’s they have aren’t even that good- I don’t know why people keep on chewing it. It’s not like it is candy or something, it is edible plastic. It’s not even edible. Did you know if you swallow a piece of gum, it won’t fully go through your system until about a year or more has gone by? Even then it shoots out your ass and lands in the toilet not to be flushed, but to be stuck on the bottom, so when your girlfriend comes over she can look at it and say, “hey, did you know you have gum in your toilet?”. NO &*%$, IT WAS COVERED IN MY BODILY WASTE BEFORE IT CAME OUT OF MY ASS! Then your parents see it… “who ever put the gum in the toilet can fish it out!” I don’t know about you, but I am not about to stick my hand in a toilet to rake out a manufactured chew-toy that has been through my bodily functions.

Down in Mississippi, my dad would pick the sap off of so tabbed “gum-tree’s”, and chew it all day, he said it didn’t have too much of a taste to it, but it was that or tobacco, and tobacco cost money and rotted your teeth. Well, today, gum will do it too. How fortunate we are to live in modern times!

What the hell is in today’s gum anyway? Lets take a look shall we?

Ingredient number one- sugar. Great. Now we can be hyper and clogging our arteries at the same time!

Ingredient number two- glucose syrup. What the hell is glucose syrup? Isn’t that supposed to be on waffles or pancakes? Glucose… sounds like some technical term for monkey poo.

Ingredient number three- Titanium Dioxide. Goody! A poison and metal are being grinded into our teeth and tongues!

And to think… we are paying good money for a poison, metal, pancake topping, monkey waste, and heart stopping ingredients to be stuck into our mouths so we can chew them away! How intelligent we have become…
Toodles.